backpacking trip

super fun!
six days in the snowy range
me and 8 other girls
and 3 women.
we put food, tents, and gear in packs
and headed out.
we only went a couple miles each day
but wow
i learned a lot about myself.
about who i really am
as me
and that i dont need someone else
and that im O K.
and just spent time rebonding
with parts of me i had let go
and i remembered that i should never have let them go
and that i was turning into someone i did not want to be
so im feeling a lot better.
it was beautiful up there.
it would have been impossible not to be healed

PUPPPPYYYY!!!

yes! i got a puppy!
it was right after i got back from my backpacking trip
which is another story
but i came back
and there she was!
waiting for me!
black, fuzzy, with a white chest and goatee
part lab
part terrier?
shes from the shelter
and shes named Daisy
shes four months old
and
weve had her five days
and
she knows sit, shake, lay down, roll over, and is almost house broken
wow
right?
i love her a lot!
shes my new buddy
so im buying her a spiked collar
^.^

reflections

you know
im not your dog
wolves mate for life
im not some bitch to be mounted
im a wolf
wild and fierce
loving and loyal
picking a likely mate
and sticking to them
because wolves dont like to be alone
they have family
and a partner
who is supposed to stand beside them
and defend them
and support them
forever.
and wolves who lose their mates
are left with a choice
take another
and risk it all again
or forfeit their packs strength
and possibly their lives
because without her mate
she is nothing
alone
just like all the other lonely wolves
im not a dog
i dont go panting after
whoever can offer me a treat
im not tamed and taught
to behave
because i cant think for myself.
i will not be so trusting
as to call the next hand
my master.
i am my own
wolf
and i always was
and will be

?

so i knew this was a human thing
to cast our mates off like blowing coat
i never imagined he was so human
so i knew this was a male thing
to pick and choose and play around
i never thought he could play so rough
so i knew this was a relationship thing
to shake us and grind us up
i never felt such unbearable loss
so i knew this was a likely thing
to lose the perfect one
i never knew it would actually happen to me